Forgiveness is a big word.
It’s hard to let go of past harm and offenses, but you must learn how to do it if you want to live a happy, fulfilled life. As the old saying goes, bitterness is like poisoning yourself and expecting the other guy to die.
Want to move on from an unfortunate situation? It all starts with learning how to forgive. Only then will you be able to experience true emotional healing.
Learning how to forgive others is a great skill to possess. It’s the way to repair relationships, live at peace and be free of the poison that hatred brings.
But, as with most rewarding things in life, it’s easier said than done...
Common Forgiveness Misconceptions that Hold You Back
Many people hold an incorrect definition of forgiveness, and this misconception can hinder your ability to truly move on.
Before we can learn how to forgive others, we’ve got to eliminate our inaccurate views. Let’s take a moment to identify these misconceptions. Forgiveness doesn’t mean:
- You forget what happened and what you felt
- The relationship is completely repaired
- Telling the other person that they’re forgiven
Perhaps most importantly, forgiveness isn’t something that you should do for someone else. It’s something that should be done for you.
True forgiveness is difficult because it’s something that you must be willing to do. It may seem impossible right now, but don’t give up hope. We’re just getting started.
The Difficulty of Forgiveness
Why is forgiveness so difficult? For most people, it’s not about the situation or the other person – it’s about what’s going on within yourself.
Following a conflict, you may find yourself filled with thoughts of vengeance and feeling superior. Not only that, but you probably feel confused about what to actually do to resolve the situation.
You may even be addicted to the adrenaline provided by being worked up and angry.
In some conflicts, you’ll place yourself in the role of the victim, meaning you’re waiting for the other parties to realize the error of their ways.
All of these reasons can be mixed together with different amounts and severities based on what happened. But the end result of that emotional recipe is a massive barrier between you and letting go and moving on – forgiveness.
How to Become Ready to Forgive
Saying, “I forgive you,” and actually meaning it is a challenge worthy of taking some time to meditate on it. Find an area to be alone for 10 or 20 minutes, get comfortable and take yourself on the following journey:
1. Accept the Reality
Accepting that it happened and cannot be changed is the first step towards forgiveness.
Oftentimes the deepest hurts in life come from those we care about most. The hardest part about moving on is coming to terms with the reality of the situation Unless you’re about to make a breakthrough in time travel, there’s nothing that can be done to change it.
It’s time for acceptance.
2. Appreciate Your Opportunity for Growth
Every event has a silver lining - including the conflict you’re experiencing.
What have you learned about yourself as a result? Do you need to set stronger boundaries, or be more clear about your needs? Understanding your growth will help alleviate the negative emotions that may be swirling around your consciousness.
3. Move Beyond Yourself
Now, consider the other person or people involved.
While this is an inner journey, you need to consider the full scope of the situation. The other parties involved are flawed, just as you are, because they’re normal human beings.
They may have acted out of incorrect information, such as not knowing how you felt. Think about the intention behind what the other parties did that created the conflict.
4. Plan Your Next Steps
Decide if you want to tell them they’re forgiven.
Not all forgiveness requires telling the other parties about it. It’s something that happens within yourself to remove the barrier created by negative emotions.
Examine how you wish to move forward with the other parties, and let that be your guide.
Energy healing can also help remove the self-created barriers between you and forgiveness. A trained practitioner is a guide for helping you through past trauma.
Schedule an appointment with an energy healer if you’d like a guide to lead you to forgiveness.